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A YIDDISH POEM by Gene Wilder


Yiddish was the secret code, therefore I don't farshtaist,
A bisseleh maybe here and there, the rest has gone to waste.
Sadly when I hear it now, I only get the gist,
My Bubbe spoke it beautifully; but me, I am tsemisht.
So oi vei as I should say, or even oy vai iz mir,
Though my pisk is lacking Yiddish, it's familiar to my ear.
And I'm no Chaim Yonkel , in fact I was shtick naches,
But, when it comes to Yiddish though, I'm talking out my tuchas.

Es iz a shandeh far di kinder that I don't know it better
(Though it's really nishtgefelecht when one needs to write a
letter).
But, when it comes to characters, there's really no contention,
No other linguist can compete with honorable mentshen:
They have nebbishes and nebechels and others without mazel,
Then, too, schmendriks and schlemiels, and let's not forget
schlemazel.

These words are so precise and descriptive to the listener,
So much better than "a pill" is to call someone 'farbissener'.
Or - that a brazen woman would be better called Choleria,
And you'll agree farklempt says more than does hysteria.

I'm not haken dir a tshainik and I hope I'm not a kvetch,
But isn't mieskeit kinder, than to call someone a wretch?

Mitten derinnen, I hear Bubbe say, "It's nechtiker tog, don't fear,
To me you're still a maven, zol zein shah, don't fill my ear.

A leben ahf dein keppele, I don't mean to interrupt,
But you are speaking narishkeit.....
And ...A gezunt auf dein kop!"

If you need a Yiddish dictionary go to http://www.pass.to/glossary/Default.htm



Oy Vey's Guide To Laughs Online

The Free Jokes Site - Oy Vey was among the first of these, and was in all likelihood the first Jewish humor archive on the net. Of course we have ads for some of the other kinds of joke sites, but Oy Vey is based on a free collection of jokes and visual humor. Today there are more than a few websites offering free jokes. Most, if not all, of these sites have ads - usually from the pay for laughs sites.

The Pay To Access A Jokes Collection Site - Some sites let you pay a fee for access to their Jokes and humor collections. You can try it for a month or keep going for months or even years. The longer amount of time you pay for at once - say a year as opposed to paying for three months of access - the cheaper your monthly payment.




(Guide Continues Below)
 

The Pay Per View Style Site - Most pay joke sites fit into this category. You buy one 'ticket' to one 'event' happening through the site (online or sometimes even in the real world) and the price is based on an event basis. Some let you pay extra for a promise that the event pass you purchased will not be sold to an unlimited audience. They offer exclusive access, which is why it is sometimes worth the fee. Now that's pretty cool, eh?!

The Custom Entertainment Site - This is the most expensive category of online joke sites. Custom joke sites have you fill out a detailed email telling them exactly what you need. A writer - usually a moonlighting comic or natural funny person - writes your jokes according to your exact specifications. Cost is based on the number of laughs needed. We've heard stories of people paying joke writers and humorist companies $1,000 or more as they needed something in a day or less. Of course they usually cost less if you have a week or more.

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